Arkwood disrobed, tossing his T-shirt onto the BBQ. ‘Oh, it is sooo hot outside!’ he lamented. Keen for the neighbours not to spy his scrawny bones and faint, I suggested he leave the back garden for the house.
‘But I love the light,’ he continued, crying.
‘Dont worry,’ I empathised, ‘Put on the Oculus Rift virtual reality headset and I will pipe in all the light you desire.’